Fictional Crush

I've been re-reading Hellblazer and falling in love all over again with John Constantine.

I've had a huge crush on him since my teen years. Back then, it was all about the bad boy aspect. A chain smoking mage who nonchalantly fucks over people, plays hardball with demons, doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks, yet is fiercely protective of what he holds dear -- that was a win for me. I don't think he was ever intended as a heartthrob. But damn did I want to hump him hard!

Constantine has been around since 1985 and it's amazing how through various writers and artists, he's remained relevant and consistent. Reading now as a more mature woman, I realize just how dark all his stories are, how haunted and twisted. I see the edge of misogyny in his protective attitude, and I better appreciate his relationship with the occult: a deep furious passion barely controlled, combined with the loneliness and desperation that is often the price of power. I'm probably crazy, but that totally makes me want to hump him. Still.

Of course, it helps that he's always portrayed as a lean rogue with a most eloquent manner of speech and wit. Like many books, the dialogue would sound pretty stupid spoken aloud. But on the written page, he's quite the charmer, even when he's swearing at the devil.

I don't often crush on fictional characters. But Constantine holds a dear spot in my heart.

(Don't even get me started on the film adaptation. It was utterly, disgustingly tragic. For starters, John is blonde, British, and gets along with nobody. Pretty though he is, Keanu Reeves just wasn't right for the character...)